Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 11:26 am
The european union commisioners have reached an agreement concerning a common language for all Europe. They have decided that English, over German is the best choice. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that there was some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan that shall be known as 'Euroenglish' (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replased with 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typwriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptense of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterant to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl would be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vill hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor troubls or difikultis and evrivun wil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
It's a running commentary! We should setup his own sticky thread...